So I stopped to feel for several years


Yesterday I sat and wrote the music and there was 7 new songs so now I’m a little brain tired. Consequently, it must be lovely to my friend coming to visit in a little while. I will sit and write music tonight too for I can’t resist. It is my way to express myself on because I would otherwise have a hard time expressing my feelings. I have strong feelings about most things but I often find it difficult to express them. When I should express them in other ways than through my music, I am often blocked. It means that I have a lot to work with. I am focused on that all the time to keep maintaining the balance that makes my life work. It means that I don’t really allow myself to feel more than necessary. I am a person who can sit and go into a thousand pieces across the different emotions. I can be so happy that I break and I can be so emotional that I go under. Emotions are wonderful but they are also some of my biggest enemies. Through my music I’m myself on the spot and you shall know that I am terrified to unleash the person that can occur if don’t do it as I do. Call it sad or call it smart, but instead of that I’m stuck with myself so I let the music save me. That is what I understand and it is my language. I care a lot about other people and I want other people well. I have good advice and tips to others.

When it comes to me so I have to constantly curb myself. I’m very complicated but at the same time so simple. I am very strong but at the same time so fragile. Without one so I am not the other. I accept that I do not always understand myself and I accept that other people don’t always reach up to me. How can other people understand me if I don’t understand myself always? 
Despite the fact that I am who I am so I am happy. I do what I want to do in my life and I have the world’s finest son. I has taken me so far on my journey It feels absolutely amazing. I am loved by many people and it feels nice  🙂 You have no idea what has preceded in my brain regarding my thoughts and concerns. You have much insight into who I am at the same time, so much the more, as ye do not know about. But I’m always so honest in everything that I can be honest in. At work and among friends on social relationships. I am and always will be someone who is going to understand but I will always have it where you cannot reach and understand. I have many close to me who understand very much when it comes to me. Some of my closest friends view of me and tells me how I am which is amazing. I think different and I am different. Above all, it is my innermost room of feelings different than most people’s. It has been so damaged in many ways that there is a constant process for me to have them on a balanced level. I lived so long jaded and I was totally uncaring. It started with that I drowned in all my feelings. Feelings was annoying and they killed me. So I stopped to feel for several years. Different life events in my life have done that, I closed of my feelings or had a big lot of emotion. It has been either or all of the time and it will take on my forces. I have become a master at turn off and turn on my feelings when it is really needed and when it is about pure survival. Then it’s my instincts taking over completely. In everyday life I am less clear sometimes about what I think and feel. Many people feel that I show someone that I can’t explain, or, on the contrary, I explain something that 
can not display. 
What is most amazing is that many of you are out with me and it is I big grateful for. When you don’t really understand me so don’t forget that I may not understand myself and therefore I can not explain. Continue to listen to my music and read my blog. For every day that goes so we learn a little more about MinikeGirl  🙂 
Take Care Of Each Other 
Many Hugs From MinikeGirl 

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